I actually teared up dropping Sammy off this morning. I haven't done that since he first started attending Sonshine Day! It wasn't anything that out of the normal either it just hit me like a ton of bricks just how fast he is growing up and I can't slow any of it down. I don't know how I feel about that! Now that he sleeps in his big boy toddler bed he wakes up and comes into our room and lies in bed with me for about 10 min while I wake up. Although I greatly miss walking and getting him out of his crib, I sure love our morning cuddles. He usually rubs my arm and my hair and tells me "Good mo'nin stunshine!! Wuv you weally weally (really) much mommy". As I wake he has his head right on my pillow facing mine and we talk about his dream or what his day will be like. Sometimes he sings to me or sometimes he tells me a story. Then we gather his lovies and trucks/cars and I help him manage to get them all down the stairs after which each and every morning he says "Shewy!" just like my grandma used to. He is usually my little helper as we get ready for our day, he helps with breakfast and clean up and picks out his outfit and sometimes mine (ha ha), he reminds me to give him his "mina-mines" (vitamins) and then we are off on our way in the car.
On the way to school we usually go through the list of where everyone is. He needs to know where Daddy and Hannah are, where both sets of grandparents and his aunties are, and then we pray for his & their day. Lastly I go through his "Reminders" right before school. They typically go like this..
me: "ok baby, what do you need to remember today"
Sammy: "to be nice and kind and mommy loves me will come back soon"
me: "what does it mean to be kind? how are you kind to others?"
Sammy: "no hittin, no bitin, no spittin, no pinchin, and no bangin table"
me: "that's right and why do we need to be kind"
Sammy: "to show love them"
I am not naive to think this doesn't immediately leave his brain though, especially given the trouble he got in yesterday. He hit a few friends in his class yesterday so we took his favorite truck away for the day and explained that he can earn it back by making good choices today., i.e., no "hittin". So today our little reminder conversation was different. The above was followed with..
"Mommy, black truck back if no hittin Kyra, Lukers, and Audry?"
"Yes honey, if you remember to be kind and not hit you can have your truck back. You need to use your words and tell Mrs. Beverly if you are angry and she will help you."
"Mommy, I no likin hittin fwiends. I no want it. I be nice..... Mommy happy?"
"Yes baby, that makes me very happy, thank you"
"Jesus happy mommy?"
"Yes it will make Jesus VERY happy if you choose to be kind to your friends"
A hint that maybe, just maybe he is starting to get it. I was a little shocked that he made that connection. I mean yes we have worked a lot on his understanding of this but it hasn't seemed to really click before. We don't want him to learn to be nice b/c it is what we should do. We want to teach him that we are nice and kind to not only honor God but to show others that we love God and by doing so that God loves them. Well, when I got to school his class was walking outside. He let go of my hand and said "sowy mommy, gonna go gool (school) , here go wunch (lunch) box" and he ran ahead and joined the line. I had to follow so I could sign him in. I watched him say hi to his friends & teachers, then join the line and do his duck tail and walk quietly outside (duck tails are the coolest way ever to have them keep their hands to themselves. All the kids make duck tails so their hands are tucked behind their backs! Just brilliant!) . The little class waited against the wall for the door to open as they went on out he turned and ran back to me and said "oh mommy.. I weally weally much good today. I choose good. wuv you" and he kissed my cheek and grinned then ran on the playground. When I got to the car I could see his teachers playing a game with his class where they were all marching really fast in a cirlce and he was just giggling with glee, having a blast clapping his hands in true gator chomp fashion most likely saying "go gatows!"
Then came the tears, as I replayed our morning and our conversations, hit hit me hard. He is just so BIG now, he just simply isn't a baby. He is a little boy who can function just fine away from me (which I guess is good) who is learning so much each and every day about how this world he has been in for two whole years now works. He is learning self control, how to obey, about consequences and rewards, and mostly importantly how to love others well because God loves us... but it is still so hard to leave him. I don't think that part will EVER get easier. Well maybe when he is a teen but then I am sure it will get hard again when he is a young adult.
I instantly thanked my sweet Jesus for a class where I know he is genuinely loved and cherished for who he is and who he will be one day. For teachers who work to teach him the foundations of faith and love and who are patient. I do not take for granted their sweet spirits and attitudes. Even after a rough day previously he can start a fresh new day and is welcomed back with open loving arms, no frustration, no grudges. I have been in plenty of preschools and day care centers with the testing I do for my research and trust me, I have seen many who are not like this. The kids are labeled as "difficult" or "trying" and it sticks. It is quite sad.
I am doing my best to cherish all these toddler times (even the more difficult ones) b/c at this rate before I know it I will be dropping him off for kindergarten and he won't have time for my morning cuddles, a quick kiss on my cheek, or want to hold my hand as we walk into school.
