EEEKS! So this is really going to happen, there really is going to be life after quals! I am such a mixture of excitement and nervousness right now! My Sams just left for a trip to visit Sam's parents so I can have some peace and quiet and really focus on my last 2 days of studying. Sammy could not have been more excited. He talked about Papi and Mimi his entire breakfast and when he was giving me my big bear hug before he got in the car I said, "now I forgot, who are you going to see again?" and he looked at me and yelled "EENKY & ROCKY!!!!", ha ha. Tinky and Roxy are their dog and cat, so I guess Sammy has been missing them too. =)
Just wanted to ask everyone to pray for me as I zero in on these last few days. I have 5 hours of written exams on Thurs and 5 hours on Friday. I then get a two week break to study more and have my oral defense on Nov 5th. These exams are to prove that I "qualify" as a doctorate candidate and I can't get my PhD without passing them so it is just a bit stressful. =) Keith, the professor I work under/my advisor/mentor, etc, gave me some great advice. He is presenting at a conference in Germany so had to leave for the week and thankfully gave me some tips before he left. The best advice was from him and my friend Jacqueline who said to think of this more of a right of passage thing rather than pass/fail thing. They said my committee members know it is way too much information for one person to remember and basically I just need to show I am an expert in my field and that I know my stuff. If I leave something out of my written answers or get something wrong, I can clarify it in my orals. Easier said than done but I take comfort in knowing that they aren't expecting perfection. =)
Apart from massive studying I am trying to stay focused on what really matters, God. Thanks to Leslie I have been listening to the song "can't give up now" by Mary Mary (thanks again!) and just spending time in prayer asking for him to give me peace about it so that I won't be a big ball of nerves and asking Him to bring to mind all that I have studied as I write. The verse at the top of this post has brought me a lot of comfort and encouragement. So, wanted to post it in case anyone else out there is going through a trial or something is weighing on you. How great to be reminded that we are not alone. I will not be alone on Thurs and Friday in that scary room, I don't have to answer those difficult questions alone. I have HIS power and strength to draw from. My sweet Jesus will quiet me and calm me down with his love. He will speak peace over me and that I am sure of b/c he has done it many a times before. More importantly he will sing over me and rejoice over me (silly but the song More by Mathew West comes to mind). I don't have to be perfect to please Him, I just have to be me and do the best I can do. He will be proud of me regardless. I don't think he has brought me this far just to fail though. It has really been an upward battle (stress, Gram died, Dad died, had a baby, more stress...its been rough) and I feel I have had to fight my way through every step of this PhD process but I know this is His plan for me and my life and it is only through Him that I have gotten this far and I think it will be only through Him that I get through Thurs & Friday, so please pray with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you!!! Also, sorry to all my friends who have been calling and think I am MIA. I am alive, just locked in our office room studying all day and night. =( I will re enter the world on Saturday and have my phone back on then. Oh Saturday.....what a glorious day that will be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Words to "More" by Mathew West Song and link, I just love this one!!!
Ok so video is a touch cheesy but didn't have time to look for link without video
Lyrics: |
Take a look at the mountains Stretching a mile high Take a look at the ocean Far as your eye can see And think of Me Take a look at the desert Do you feel like a grain of sand? I am with you wherever Where you go is where I am And I'm always thinking of you Take a look around you I'm spelling it out one by one (Chorus) I love you more than the sun And the stars that I taught how to shine You are mine, and you shine for me too I love you yesterday and today And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again I love you more Just a face in the city Just a tear on a crowded street But you are one in a million And you belong to Me And I want you to know That I'm not letting go Even when you come undone (Chorus) I love you more than the sun And the stars that I taught how to shine You are mine, and you shine for me too I love you yesterday and today And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again I love you more I love you more Shine for Me Shine for Me Shine on, shine on Shine for Me (Chorus) I love you more than the sun And the stars that I taught how to shine You are mine, and you shine for me too I love you yesterday and today And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again I love you more (Chorus) Than the sun and the stars that I taught how to shine You are mine, and you shine for me too I love you, yesterday and today Through the joy and the pain I'll say it again and again I love you more I love you more And I see you And I made you And I love you more than you can imagine More than you can fathom I love you more than the sun And you shine for me |
