Sunday, June 27, 2010

Memorial Day

I have so much more time on my hands these days that I just don’t know what to do with myself so I am cranking out the blog posts! My down time is usually filled with Hannah and her siblings so this has been a rough adjustment. It is still so difficult to get used to them being gone. There have been so many times where we would have had them here or brought them with us somewhere and it just seems lonely without them now. Our house is so quiet with only Sammy here! There is a sanctus real song playing right now and the words to it are just perfect. They sing “it feels like chaos but somehow there is peace. Whatever you are doing inside of me it feels like chaos but I believe you’re up to something bigger than me, larger than life, something heavenly”. I am trusting this is all part of God’s plan for them and for us too, I know He is doing something bigger than we can even imagine.

I still have my sad moments and am still adjusting but for the most part I am learning to give the moments where I am overcome with the awful feelings and longing for them to God. I just call His name and run to Him with it and He is comforting me. I have actually talked to them all every few days so that has helped a great deal too. The last time I talked to Hannah as soon as she got on the phone she said, “Teri, I just love your voice. I miss you and wish you could hold me”. I of course responded with how much I love and miss her too and so we said we would hug ourselves at that moment and she said “do you feel it? Do you feel my hug? I feel yours, Jesus is making it work for us, I feel your hug I really do!!!”. It was just precious. Oh how I miss my girl. 

Ok, enough sadness for now. I wanted to share some pictures from our fabulous Memorial Day! We had the best time and owe a big thank you to the Conrad family for having our Sunday School class out to their lake house. It is right on Hart Springs and it is just gorgeous there. We had so much yummy food and just a great time together. They had a giant water slide for the kids in their yard and then we took their boat to “the beach” which is a perfect little spot down the river with a sandy river bank and some shallow water for the kids to play in. I was happy to have arrived alive after the wiled tube ride Bryan gave me and Juile! I am not even exaggerating when I say that our tube came 5 feet out of the water at one point. I jokingly told them I saw the lights of heaven in that moment. I haven’t screamed that lout in a long time!! I remember as soon as it plopped us back down I saw Hannah’s little head from the back of the boat and she was clapping and waving and gave me a big thumbs up. She had wanted to go on the tube but then chickened out when she heard mention of alligators so I am glad I went to show her how much fun it is. She was a great cheerleader! I am so glad I went on that wild tube ride and even more thankful I had Julie as my partner who called out what way I should lean each time and I really think it is thanks to her that we didn’t land in the water!!!

We had an amazing day, ate lots of watermelon & laughed a ton. Thank you so much for having us all out there and showing us a fabulous time Mr. & Mrs. Conrad!!!

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Sammy & Daniel testing the lake water

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Lil Miss Gracie

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Gracie and David playing in the waves

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Even little Reagan played in the river!

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Yummy cookout for lunch, I loved listening to the kids’ conversations. They were so serious, it was so cute!

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My Hannah Banana had a fantastic day, she loved it and said she wanted to go to their house every single day of her life.

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Kid table #2

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I caught Sammy doing some joke with his ear of corn and once Addy started laughing at him it just egged him on more, he loves making them laugh!

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Annie and Chad

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The first boatload was on their way~

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We played while we waited. Sammy was very scared of the slide part but loved splashing in the little pool area

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Thanks to Mrs. Martha, after a very LONG time she was able to coax him to try the stairs….

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He did it! I was so proud of him! I love watching him conquer his fears like this. It is hard to see but he had the most proud look on his face right here, he LOVED the slide. That is Hannah on the right cheering him on, so sweet

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Love!

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Brian, Julie, and David on the boat almost time for our tube ride!

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Oh wow….

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So much FUN!!!!! I can’t wait to get back in that tube!

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We found these little princess-mermaids when we arrived. Sammy looked at them and said “no you not, you are gwirls!!”, ha ha!

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My little fishy loved swimming in the river

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Hannah and Claire were good buddies

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Snuggling up for boat ride home

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Some of our group eating watermelon!

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Hannah doing some trick with a grape

Happy Birthday Jane!!!

Hannah, Sammy, and I left a little early so we could make it to little Miss Jane’s 2nd birthday party! She was just adorable in her little blue flower dress and gold sandals. Simply lovely!

Funny thing that happened was I was so careful to get Sammy & Hannah all changed and cleaned up from the river but when I went to get MY bag of clothes from the car they were no where to be found. Yep, you guessed it. I had left them at the Conrad’s house. So.. there I was at their sweet little birthday party in my soaking wet bathing suit (with cover dress thank goodness) and dried dirt on my legs. Sam was meeting us there so I asked him to grab me something and everyone got a great laugh at what he picked for me. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than grateful that be brought me clothes but I will never live down that outfit. He brought me one of Hannah’s mikey mouse t shirts that was way too small with no bra and some very old and dingy too tight olive green cargo pants. He he! We still had a great time celebrating Molly’s sweet girl.

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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Fun day in Lakeland!

 

My friend Julie and I decided to take a day trip down to Lakeland and visit Andrea and her sweet boys for the day. This was no small feat! We packed all of our boys into Julie’s minivan and were on our way. The boys were pretty wound up so Julie suggested she put a movie on for them, I doubt she remembers this moment as fondly as I do but I thought it was hilarious. She got the dvd started and her boys settled down but mine was shouting and laughing and squealing with glee! His words were “A T.B. (TV) Just dropped down mommy! Wook(look!)”, he was in disbelief that there was a TV in her VAN and his excitement was contagious, he even got the others all wound up again. Oopsy!

We had such a fun time with Andrea, we spent the entire time in her pool. We had 6 boys total and they really enjoyed each other and played together so well. It was so great to see them all together again. I of course was beyond ecstatic to see my sweet little baby Isaac. He was just as precious as could be. He slept most of the time sleeping but I got to have a short little conversation with him before we left. I just love her boys to pieces. Connor had grown so much and was so mature. Sammy followed him around like a puppy and tried to do everything like Connor.

It was such a fun day. We had many laughs (for example, Daniel came very close to peeing on my head) and shared mommy stories, advice, and encouraged each other.

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all 4 boys all loaded and ready to go….

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Here he is! I didn’t get near enough pictures of Isaac but check out how much he has grown already!!! Couldn’t wait to give him kisses!

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The big boys loved playing on Connor’s top bunk bed and after swimming they were all up there in just their little underoos, it was too cute!

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Julie and 2 of her 3 cutie pies!

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I had so much fun playing with Connor in the pool~

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Love this pic of Julie and Reagan, such a sweet moment

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and here begins our attempts at a pic of the 4 big boys together in one shot…..

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Poor Andrea tried so hard. As soon as she would get them all ready one would jump in, it was quite comical

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getting closer…

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almost had it but Daniel was covered..

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here’s the winner…. the secret was to bribe them with a fruit strip

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we instantly lost David the moment I snapped it!

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Connor and his little shaddow.. I mean Sammy

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I love this pic of Daniel!

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Sammy sure loves him some baby Reagan, he just can’t get enough of him every time we see the Borges. He always asks if Regan can just be his brudder too.

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Best attempt of a picture of Connor and Sammy!

Thanks for a great day ladies, I love you both so very much!

Friday, June 25, 2010

My Two and a half year old

 

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Check out his fire truck I created! I tied the two together with a publix bag and viola.. his favorite fire truck was created! Now he pulls his stuffed animals with him down the street and everywhere he goes!

I am pretty sure that I have said that every stage Sammy has been at has been my “favorite” age. The twos have been surprisingly great so far although I have to admit I am totally more fearful of the threes than the twos after hearing so many stories about the independent streak that comes at three.

Sammy has changed and grown so much in these last six months. I honestly hadn’t realized how much he had changed until mom played some videos of him at 26 months and it is shocking at how much more mature he is just four months later. This will prob be a pretty boring post for most of you so you may want to stop reading here. I just wanted to be sure to document what Sammy is like at two and half. DSC05365DSC04588

Sammy,

     At two and half you are such a joy and are so very silly. We have loved watching you grow so much in these last few months. You love to read more than anything else I do believe, so much so that your teachers even gave you the “best reader” award in your class. You love to read to yourself but often will bring a book to me and say “I wead then you wead mommy” and we both take turns. You usually wake up singing and then read a few books before coming into our room. You also read while on the potty and while I am fixing your breakfast. You read on the way to school and your teachers say you read off and on throughout the day at school. Then as soon as we pick you up from school you can’t wait to read your books on the way home and even read a few books before dinner. I had to cut you off and set a limit at bedtime because your books are so much longer now. You are not very happy that you only get 3 books before our Bible story and prayers at bedtime, but your sleep is so important.

You love to sing and dance and still make me smile when you mix up songs together. I think I will cry when you stop singing “humpty dumpty had a farm, e-i-e-i-o”. It is one of the last things you did as a baby that has hung around. You love to make music with your daddy and have jam sessions every few days with him. You like to play the drums more than the guitar but you have grown quite talented at both.

You are a very silly boy and love to make people laugh when you are around family and friends. Everyone who knows your Papi comments on how you are two peas in a pod because you are just like him. You can also be very shy in new groups and take a long time to warm up to people you don’t know. Sometimes you are even quiet with family and friends at first but if we give you the time you need to adjust and feel comfortable you come out of your shell in a very big way. We are so glad that you have been opening up more at school and your teachers say that you have begun talking more regularly and saying a few sentences at a time to them now. I only wish they could hear you at home, you chatter away and hold full conversations with us. In fact, it is rare for you to NOT talk when we are at home. You have begun asking me questions to keep the conversation going, which I find quite funny. Just tonight you told me “I lub (love) bugs and piders (spiders) mommy, do you lub dem to?” and you then asked me what my favorite color of bug is and if I like them in or out of the ground best. One of my favorite things you have started to talk about is how much you want a brudder (brother). I think this is because most of your friends have brothers now and you are I think the LAST only child of all of my friends who had babies with me (sorry honey!). You have even prayed for God to take good care of your brudder. When we tell you don’t actually have a brother you get so mad at us and argue that “yes I have him!”

You have learned to differentiate languages depending on the environment you are in. You now consistently speak only in English when we are in English environments and only Spanish in Spanish environments. You get very quiet and take it all in at Hannah’s house where there is both English and Spanish at the same time and usually will respond in Spanish to her Grandma and Auntie but in English to Hannah and the other kids. I am so proud of this progress you have made! You still introduce yourself as “Sammy in engwish and Samuelito bebe en espan-ol” but sometimes you tell me your name is not Sammy but rather it is Samuel and you ask me to call you that. You have also began to correct my poor Spanish which has been a strange thing to get used to for me.

You still love to “pway caws (play cars)” and have the best time with some cars and a couch. You line them up and roll them back and forth enacting various scenarios. I love to listen to the conversations you make your cars have with each other. Your imagination amazes me, you are very creative and come up with so many fun things to play. You love to pretend you are going to the grocery store to buy food and to the garden to pick vegetables and fruit. You often “pick” pumpkins, squash, “strawbears”, “fannanas” watermelons, and cookies from your imaginary garden. More often than not you encounter some pretty wild animals on these trips and always manage to carry them home with you and hug and kiss them then “put” them in your bed. A few days ago you had an imaginary rhino, giraffe, and cow in your bed but you said the tiger was trying to bite so you had to leave it by Publix. You tried your best to convince me that sadly there was just room left in your little bed for you so you wouldn’t be able to take your nap that day.  Your imaginary turtle is still with us too and has become a pretty normal part of our lives. The little guy still changes colors regularly and will often be in the pockets or laps of others which makes you giggle out of nowhere (thank you to our family and friends for being a good sport with Turtle). Also, when you get out of the bath each night you tell us you are a little tiny caterpillar wrapping yourself in your cocoon and you LOVE to surprise us by popping out of your towel and turning into a butterfly. My favorite thing of all though, is Fireman Sammy. Quite often you pretend to be a fireman riding your fire truck to go help daddy and the “odder powice” (other police) to keep people safe. It melts my heart.

You are almost potty trained and I can’t tell you how happy it makes me! You still wear a pull up at night and on long car rides just to be safe but you are usually able to keep your big boy underwear dry all day. This is HUGE in our world right now. You are also improving leaps and bounds socially. You are much less aggressive and it is finally rare for us to get a poor report from your teachers. The biggest thing we deal with now is you spitting at a friend who has pinched you or bit you. You have even begun to initiate conversations with new friends you meet by saying “hi, my name Sammy! I’m free (three)!” even though you KNOW you are only two years old. I think you think you are being very slick when you do this.

You love to swim and go on wagon rides and you really love to learn about animals. You love to visit our elderly neighbors, mostly I think because they spoil you and give you cookies. You are quite the helper and love to clean and cook. You love to cook on your little stove while I am at mine and make yours “match” mine. I am convinced that you are  the best corn shucker and pea sheller in all of Gainesville. I called you my sous-chef the other day while we were making biscuits together and you quickly responded with “oh I not a shoe mommy, I a big boy”.

You have a very sweet tender heart and love to take care of me and Hannah. You like to protect us from bugs and ants and love to open the doors for us and turn on the lights for us. You usually rub our arms or hand while we watch a show together. Your daddy is teaching you to be quite the little gentleman. Several times I have seen you take a toy to another child at church when they were crying or upset and I love to see you help your friends in your class. You must hug each friend before you leave to go home from school and you help them clean up their messes. You like to hold “wittle babies” and help them in every way.

You have a great attention to detail and can usually spot a plane or bird in the sky before I ever have an inkling that one is there. You know just about every vehicle/construction/work truck on the road and often take a gander at what the mechanic or fireman etc is on their way to do. You love to learn big words and often ask “what dat mean mommy?” or “what you say mommy? Say it gin (again)” when you hear me say a big word. I am surprised at how many you retain. For instance, after you make a poor choice you often ask “what my cons-quence mommy?” in a sad tone. You want to know how everything works and really are a sponge for these details. The one thing that has stumped you and I can’t for the life of me get you to grasp though is the concept of night and day and that the earth is spinning on its axis. You ask about 10 times a day if it is night or almost night time and if we are spinning now and will be spinning later.

My most favorite thing of all is to listen to you pray. You seem to crave stories about Jesus and ask many many questions, sometimes difficult ones. You ask me to pray with you several times a day and if we ever do happen to forget to pray before we eat you are quick to remind us. You actually started praying on your own just a few weeks ago. It is a moment that will be forever etched in my heart. I was in the hall doing laundry and I heard you in your room. You thanked Jesus for me and your daddy and for your “familia” then you prayed for your Papi to be safe, your Grammy to feel better, for Minima’s shoulder to heal up, Grandaddy’s toe to feel better and his Lightening McQueen bandaid to stay on real good. You thanked Him for Aunt Sarah, Aunt Cindy, Cristina, and Uncle Brennan and then prayed for Tinky and Roxy (Grammy’s pets) and Pixie (minima’s dog) to be healthy and have fun and know you’re “missin dem” and for Hannah to come back soon and for Krista to feel all better. Then you said really sweetly, I weally wub you Jesus. Amen”

I remember just sitting there in mid fold of one of your tiny t-shirts while a tear rolled down my cheek. I was of course happy and glad I was able to hear you share that moment with your Savior. Hearing you pray so sincerely while I held your tiny shirt made me realize that you already at such a young age are forming and beginning your own thoughts about Jesus and faith. I knew this at some level already but it really hit me in that moment just how crucial the way we live our lives really is for your development. We have such a daunting and HUGE responsibility to not only teach you about our Jesus but more importantly to SHOW you His love and to live out faith for you on a daily basis.  The passage in Deuteronomy 4: 6-10 became very very real to me in that moment.  I know that God expects us to show you how to live by faith and I know that I have not always and will not always respond to situations in Godly ways. I am so thankful that God will be faithful to fill in the gaps with His grace where I mess up and will always guide me in how to raise and teach you.

Mi Samuelito, you are such a blessing to us and we cherish each day we have with you. I am still baffled at why God picked us to be your parents, we do not deserve you. You are so very special and I know you will make a big impact on our world in your own unique way. I am certain of it. You are already such a beautiful combination of characteristics and I love learning more about how God created you to be with each passing day. It honestly is a privilege to be your mommy and promise to be the best mommy I can be for you. I love you to the moon and back!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Empty Nest Syndrome

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I have been so emotionally weary these last few days as I try to wrap my brain around what our summer will be like without Hannah Banana, Mark, and Samantha here in our home. Their mom came to pick them up a few days ago and they are now in a state far far away where they will spend the summer with her. I really feel like I am suffering from empty nest syndrome and every where I look and every thing I do seems to remind me that they won’t be back for a long time. Sammy has already been asking when Hannah is coming to our house again as he says “I want her mommy”, awww! I do too baby! This is going to be especially hard on him as they are so very close.

To make a long story short, Hannah and her 3 siblings came to Gainesville to live with their grandma and grandpa after living in a few foster homes. Hannah was I think 2 when they all arrived here. Their grandma said it was hard at first because they had been split up so they had to learn to all live together again. They have lived here with their grandma ever since. Sadly their grandpa passed away this winter so it has been especially hard on their grandma to care for them since then. The kids’ mom wants full custody of all 4 children again and so they have gone to spend the summer with her as a first step.

Please pray for all involved as they are getting to know their mommy. Hannah didn’t have much recollection of her other than when she came to visit for a few days last year and phone calls.  Please pray that this will be a summer of wonderful memories for the kids and that a firm foundation will be laid in their relationship with their mom and her boyfriend. Pray for those two specifically that they will have wisdom and patience and take great care of the kids as they adjust to going from their one child to 4 kids over night. Pray that Mark, Samantha, and Hannah will have a great time and develop a strong attachment and trusting relationships with them as well and that some pieces of their hearts will heal. Pray that they will also have a great time with their new baby sister and get to love on her and make up for lost time. I think this summer is a critical building block for them to develop a strong foundation if they are to ever live full time with their mom in the future.

Please also pray that they will have some special quality time with their dad. He lives a few hours away from where the kids are staying with their mom. Sam and I have been in contact with him a lot of the years and think he is a great stand up guy and Hannah and all the kids love him to pieces. He has made many changes in his life, the biggest being that he became a Christian while in prison. He truly wants to be in their lives each day and I have no doubt that he will as soon as he possibly can. Hannah wants to spend time with him this summer more than anything. It was all she was talking about on that last day with her. In fact, we gave her $$ so that she can treat him to a special trip to McDonalds, just the two of them. Please pray that this trip can happen, it would literally mean the world to her.

Those of you who know the family may have noticed that I didn’t include Krista. Unfortunately Krista had to stay here since she is sick and the doctors said she can not travel.  Krista is the oldest of the 4 has had no energy for a while. After a recent visit to the ER they found a lump and she was sent to the Shands radiology unit where they ran some more tests and confirmed that she has a suspicious mass. We are waiting now for her to have a biopsy (will be in two weeks) so please pray for this to not be anything serious and for her to be restored to perfect health. She is only 12 years old so naturally it is scary for her to go through all of the testing.

Lastly, please pray for us. It was heart breaking to say our goodbyes and it has just torn me up. I feel just sick inside and it has only been a few days. Hannah thankfully has called us a few times so talking to her helps but I honestly can’t imagine what life around here will be like without a house full of 5 kids each weekend! Especially without our Hannah Banana. She is a huge part of us and it honestly feels like my heart is in that truck way across the states at this very moment.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that God knows what He is doing in their lives. His timing is best. He knows what is best for these kids AND what is best for their parents. We have prayed for so many years that He would direct their futures and hold each of them in the palm of His hands so I am trusting him completely with the entire situation.

I Peter 1:6-7 says this :

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Ultimately, God is in control of it all and all I can do is have faith that He is working it all out so that they can have the brightest futures. I have to trust Him with them, it is all I can do. I know he is capable of doing exceedingly more than I ever could dream up for these kids and He loves them more than Sam and I ever could. He will come through for them and I don’t have to figure it all out, thankfully.  Thank you for praying with our family on this! We love these kiddos more than I can say.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Watermelon Festival

 

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We headed over to the annual Watermelon Festival out in Newberry with my friend and resident supermom, Julie. Julie is supermom all the way because she braved the hot sticky chaotic festival with her 3 small boys. She has a 4 year old, 2 1/2 year old, and a baby! We all had a fun time, there was endless free slices of watermelon and Sammy all but mastered the art of spitting out the seeds (a must for all southerners). The kids had a great time riding the rides and if it hadn’t been for the unbearable heat & humidity I think it would have been a perfect day.

We met up with some of Hannah’s family and Sammy loved riding the rollercoaster with Krista (who was so protective of him) and playing with “the cousins” as he calls the twins because he still can’t tell them apart.

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The boys LOVED running and throwing their rinds in the truck, check out the air on David’s

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Waiting in line with tickets in hand, I LOVE this pic of David, standing just like his daddy

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Supermom Julie on the scary scary ferris wheel!

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Sammy and I are somewhere up on top, I was praying b/c it felt a little too rickety for my likes and I just wanted us to make it down safely

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See the little orange hat beside Krista, that is my big boy going on the rollercoaster!

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Anna & Alejandra were too cute!

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Krista went on the crazy cage ride and screamed the ENTIRE time

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Our gang stopping for watermelon break

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This is about where Sammy started melting down in a BIG way….

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Oh wow.. it was past time to head home and I paid for those extra few min we stayed !

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I LOVE this pic of Daniel chomping down on his melon!

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Rubbing Sammy’s aching foot… so tired of those

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Here is where I almost lost all my watermelon! That merry go ride made me so sick, I swear they make them faster these days b/c I simply refuse to be that old