Her Big Day

I am very late in getting to this but I wanted to share some pics from Cristina's big day, she had her Quinceanera at the end of October and I was just devastated that we couldn't be there. This is a big deal in the Latin culture, it is a celebration of girl's coming of age when she turns 15 (somewhat equivalent to our "sweet 16") where the girl is typically given a gift of religious significance (cross, Bible, etc) from her father during a ceremony and then a party follows where she first dances with her father. At a place like Casa with so many girls turning 15, they have reserved a weekend in the end of October each year to celebrate all the girls' who are 15's Quinceanera at the same time. I love to read about it each year, the girls wake up before daybreak to start getting ready and they get all fixed up. Older girls and the dorm parents help to do their hair and makeup, they have fancy dresses, then there is a ceremony where Mike or Papi as they call him (the founder of Casa and father to all the children at Casa) gives them each a necklace with a cross pendant. Mike is a phenomenal speaker, one of the best preachers I have ever heard so I am sure the ceremony is a tear jerker. The best par of all is he and his wife Dottie (Mami to all the kids there) take the group of girls to a fancy hotel in Antigua where they spend the weekend together. Sam and I went with a group of kids to this same hotel before and let me assure you, it is a 5 star luxurious resort! We were amazed at such a gem right in the middle of Antigua, it was just gorgeous. My understanding is that the hotel owners are a fan of Casa and the ministry there so they open their doors when they can to help. The girls as you can imagine look forward to this all year. They soak up all the one on one time with Papi & Mami and they get to use their sponsor money to shop in the market, they can swim in the pool there (many can't even swim though b/c they haven't really had a chance) and just enjoy life outside of the orphanage. Mike wrote in his journal this year that they had a great time and this bunch of girls was exceptional. He and Dottie had no problems with any of them and, in fact, they were suprised at how they all stuck close to home. They didn't really want to go off and do things, they wanted more to spend time with Papi and Mami talking and doing devotions and they used their shopping money to buy gifts for others rather than themselves. WOW! I think it is great that Casa goes out of their way to celebrate each girls' quince and make it as special as possible.

I want to share a sweet story that shows just how different, set apart, she really is. She is so wise beyond her years, I tell you she is just phenomenal. I will never forget one moment that stands out in my mind. I was sitting and chatting with several of the girls about all kinds of girly things. It was such a fun moment. I was playing with Cristina's hair and a couple girls were doing my hair and others were doing each other's nails. We were talking about boys and getting married and how Sam and I fell in love. Then since Quince was only a few months away, the conversation drifted to talks of which dress they had picked (people from states donate prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, etc for them to have, they have a good selection!) and how they wanted to wear their hair. Several of them talked about the pretty dresses their sponsors were sending, I'm talking fabulous gorgeous mega fancy dresses..... and THAT is when I made a crash landing straight down from cloud 9!! I went from thinking how I wouldn't want to be any other place on all of earth to feeling sick at my stomach. Instantly all these thoughts flooded in.. she will want us to buy her a dress... how much would a dress like that cost.. there is no way we could afford that, maybe I could contact her other sponsors..what am I going to do???!! I don't want to disappoint her. The girl has been through so much in her life and she deserves to have a beautiful dress on her big day, we will just take out a credit card or something. That's what we'll do. Sam will understand I am sure. Then "Terrrrri".. I was brought back from my thoughts by the adorable way she says my name with her accent rolling the "r". She took my hand and rubbed the top of it and said "you no worry about me. Come with me" and she led me over to the side away from the others. "Oh no, I was just thinking.." but she knew. "you and Sam no worry about dress for me. I will have beautiful dress from here. I only want you to remember me. I not like those silly girls. The dress is not important it is not about the dress" and she proceeded to yet again demonstrate to me just HOW FAR she has come. I mean let's get honest. I am sure my mom will agree, at 15, I would have been ALL ABOUT the dress, as were the other girls. I would have wanted the best of the best. I still felt bad though, so I explained to her how with Sam not having a job we didn't have extra money and how we had saved up just to buy her the gifts we brought (clothes, jacket,bras/underwear, shoes, etc.). Her response? She explained that her shoes we brought last year had holes in them now and so she greatly appreciated the new shoes and clothes, those were what she needed and they are so special and she is thankful and she would never want to think of us spending money on something she didn't need, and she didn't need the dress. Again, wow. Most girls her age I know would have wanted more clothes or maybe complained that what we brought wasn't "cool" etc. SO...I thought this would be the perfect time to give her the suprise we had brought. I had wanted to wait until just the right time to give it to her and I just knew this was it. I told her to hang on and I ran into the gringo dorm to get the little box. It was a beautiful heart shaped metal tin with blue flowers that a bracelet from Sarah (thanks Sarah! I still love it!!) had come in. Inside was a special set of jewelry for her to wear on her special day, that was VERY hard for me to part with . It was ear rings, necklace, and a bracelet that Sam had given me when we first started dating and I explained how special it was to me and that I wanted her to have it. She said she planned to keep it and give it to her daughter one day which made me beam!! So sweet! She said the jewelry meant more to her than any dress and she kept hugging me.

So, fast forward a few months and we get home. Although I knew in my heart of hearts that she understood about the dress, it still weighed on my mind. Then, one glorious morning I saw a yard sale sign on the way out of our neighborhood. Sam and I decided on spur of moment to go and guess what we found?? A dress her size the color she had described as wanting and was only $5!!!! Needless to say we bought it. Sam and I both agreed we felt it was a "God thing" and even though we didn't have the extra $5 we agreed we should spend it and trust God with the rest. Gloria had some great ideas as to how we could "fancy it up" and she and I went and bought the most beautiful crystal beads. Gloria worked for 2 weeks sewing the beads on by hand and I worked for probablly the equivalent of a day. Yes, Gloria blew me away with her bead skillz (the woman can seriously do everything!). She has grown to love Cristina over the years as she translates all our letters to each other. Here is a pic of the final product...

Even the fringe was put together and then sewn on by hand. She is just too sweet to do all that work for Cristina. I never even asked her to, she just wanted to. She said I love her and I want her to feel like a princess.

Well... do you notice anything from the pics below??? That's right. The dress didn't fit her! We went to so much trouble. We mailed the dress with matching thread and needle and I had arranged for Carolyn 2 to alter and shorten when it arrived. Tim and Patty were here in the states visiting family so thankfully they offered to take it back to Guate with them, so I had to send it to Tim's sister's house. It was such an ordeal. Only for Cristina to get the dress and be so excited, Carolyn said she was over the moon and then she tried it on and it was too small up top. I was so sad when they emailed that it didn't fit! I was just confused?? Why go through all that trouble and then for what? For it to sit in some clothes closet until another girl picks it??? Made no sense to me. That is.. until I got her letter after Quince. Cristina wrote about her big day and all that she did on her weekend but mostly about how much it meant to have "her family" send such a special dress that so much love and time went into. She said that nobody had ever worked on anything like that just for her with her in mind and she wrote how it had helped her draw close to God and made her feel so happy and loved. She thanked us that our friends and family are also so wonderful to her and love her too (we send pics of our families to her all the time, she knows them all by name, even all my little cousins and she REALLY loves Shelby's red hair. They don't see red heads much over there, ha ha). She said thank you for taking care of her so well and for loving her with so much passion (I know..some things sound strange with the translation) and that she learns so much from me and Sam and this dress just showed her how she needs to work on loving others at Casa better and being a strong example. I read on the journal that she preached to the teenagers a few days before her Quince. She is being used in a big way there and among the many things we pray for her, one prayer we always have each day is that God will help Sam, Sammy, and I help her as best we can to be the woman that God has planned. She is doing a mighty fine job of it. =)

I included all this detail about the dress to simply state what I learned through from the "dress drama" as I was calling it. I should never have doubted God when I got that email. Honestly I was frustrated that so much time and energy and even money (those beads were not cheap!) went in to it for what I thought was nothing. Yes it was good that Sam and I were sensitive to His leading and trusted that we should buy the dress but then, just like always when things didn't go according to MY plans.. I bailed ship and got all frustrated. I should have known God had bigger plans and if getting this dress in the mail made such a difference in her life and meant so much to her, it was worth every minute and penny plus many more. When we first started sponsoring her, all that I had hoped to do and the role I hoped to have in her life seemd just impossible. How could God use me a very busy grad student in Fl to reach a very lost little girl in Guatemala?? Impossible. How could I convey my love for her, His love for her through a few letters a year? Prayer. Prayer was the answer. It was through prayer for her and drawing close to him and pouring my heart out on her behalf that he did the impossible. This dress is just one little example, he doesn't need much to work with- a $5 yard sale dress for instance- and willing hearts and He can do the impossible. Well.. God has outdone Himself! He has connected the two of our hearts and intertwined our life stories beyond my wildest imagination.

********* also, for those of you who sponsor kids from Casa, I HIGHLY recommend having someone who speaks Spanish translate your letters for you. Have you ever noticed that what your kid wrote seems really long but then the translated version is so short? Well, after having Gloria translate letters for almost 3 years now for me and checking what the kid at Casa who did the translation wrote.. a lot is missed. A lot of really important stuff that you would want to have heard, so just something to think about doing. Yes it takes some extra time but so totally worth it. *********

Now onto the pics! A big thanks to Carolyn for taking so many pics for me. She knows I am slightly obsessed. ha ha. Here is Cristina entering the ceremony with her escort

Here is Mike giving her necklace

My beautiful sweet girl all grown up! I still can't believe how much she has changed!

Here she is with Mike and Dottie (her Mami & Papi)

Here is the entire group.. just beautiful! Check out Katerine's dress.. I told her she looks like Miss Guatemala!!!
these are all the graduates..........Cristina passed!! She used to really struggle in school, she had not gone to school before coming to Casa at 12 years old. She is doing so great in school now! She was so worried about her big math test, if she failed it she couldn't graduate to 6th grade but we talked a lot about studying and school etc. She vowed to pray for my quals and me for her math and we BOTH PASSED our big exams!!! So proud of her!!!

Here she is with Irma, her sister. Irma is the one who went back to the house Cristina was in with her dad and stole her out of it, right before she was sold. She brought her to Casa and asked if they could both stay and get an education.
Here she is with her boyfriend, Josue who Andrea and family sponsors. Andrea and I think they will get married, they are so sweet together and have been together for 2 years now! Once they do, we figure this will make US family! That means little Kylie who Andrea and her husband just adopted will then be related to Sammy! They will be cousins! Yay! Did you follow that?? ha ha. We can dream, right? Josue is the sweetest boy. He has a really good heart and takes great care of Cristina.

When Harry Met Sally with a twist!

It FINALLY happened! We had our "When Harry Met Sally night" and it was just great! Last April when we were all in Colorado for a conference Katherine and I were talking and she learned I had never seen the movie when Harry Met Sally NOR eaten astronaut ice cream. She declared that we would have a night where both were accomplished but of course given that we are all in grad school.. we have all been too busy to make it happen. Well thankfully last weekend we had our big night and it was just great! I had a blast! The movie was so funny and took much longer than typical to watch because we of course had to keep pausing it to make fun of their 80s clothes/hair and to comment on various scenes. My favorite was of course the famous scene in the restaurant where Sally fakes one. My favorite part though was when Sally was walking down the sidewalk with her bf and chatting. Nothing phenomenal. Erin however, grabbed the remote and paused the movie & informed me that the bf's hair was what true "short brown hair"looks like. She had heard me on the phone describing myself as having short brown hair (which I do!) and corrected me that I apparently have long blonde hair (which I don't!). It was hilarious though, I was cracking up b/c they ALL tried to convince me of the latter and even said my hair was more like Sally's (also not good) than her bf's hair. Funny funny!

Katherine even had a basket with packs of astronaut ice cream for us!! There were 3 of us who had never had it so it was fun to see what everyone thought of it. I personally loved it! Ice cream that you chew, can't go wrong with that. I was not fond of the slimy film on my teeth after wards but I still gave it a very high rating! My fav flavor was of course chocolate and I saved my biggest chunk to eat until they fell in love and kissed at the end of the movie (I so knew they would). I brought some home for Hannah and after one bite she declared "that stuff is nasty! Astronauts are crazy! They are crazy to go to space and crazy to eat that nasty stuff!" ha ha...

Our night was almost ruined after A YEAR of waiting b/c Sam found out last min he had to work the gator basketball game but...... Erin & Clint to the rescue!!!! Clint's niece Amberly lives with them and had taken babysitting classes and needed to babysit for a girl scout badge. Erin assured me Clint (who has babysat Sammy with Erin before) would be there for my reassurance but that Amberly would do all the work. He was just there in case needed for an emergency. Sammy knows Amberly and so he was super excited all day to go hang out with her. I was SO IMPRESSED with her! When we got there she had a file folder with our name and form she had created for me to fill out. It had her logo at the top (see pic below) for "Awesome Amberly's Babysitting Business" and she did such a wonderful job! She fed him dinner and even got him to go to sleep in a new place and he has asked to go see her EVERY DAY since. Thank you Amberly for taking such great care of my boy and for showing him a great time (and taking pics!). Thank you Clint for staying home for the "just in case".

With our packs of Astronaut Ice Cream! Thanks Katherine!!
At long last....!!!
First bite.. not too sure,haha.... I love Burcu's face!!=)
Check out Amberly's super organization skills!!
All ready for a fun night
Some pics she took while I was gone
They had locked their dog & cat up but the kitty apparently really wanted to come out and play (Abby.. this is Kalee the kitty that you helped Erin adopt a few years ago!!! I know you can't see all of her but she loves her home and family and is just beautiful, and isn't her paw cute??)
This is how I found him when I came back, all tuckered out asleep in Amberly's bed. Well done! I honestly don't think I could have got him to sleep in a new place/bed. Wow!

I

Our new addition......

We proudly announce the newest member of the DeLucca Fam! He is soft and cuddly and loves to snuggle and best of all.. he is green! Meet "Ribbit Kyra DeLucca"!!

Sammy's Aunt Edith sent him $20 in the mail to do something fun with and so we decided we would take him to Build a Bear workshop and let him pick out a bear. He really wanted Frosty the snowman but we thankfully talked him out of it and instead of a bear or dog like we predicted he picked a froggy! I wish I would have had my camera to take pics of him "making" it. He was just in awe. Total amazement. He pumped his little foot on the pedal and then hugged it to be sure it was soft enough. He picked out the froggy's heart with care and rubbed it in his hands before putting it inside and he even picked out a little sound box that makes a Ribbit sound. He barely spoke a word the entire time, he just stood with his mouth gaping open and wide eyes with raised eyebrows but man.. the moment we left the store, woa have mercy! Sam and I both just kneeled down on his level in the middle of the mall and he told us all about how "Sammy made it all by self and he did a weally good job and was a good boy!". We asked him what he wanted to name his froggy and he thought for a while and proudly declared.. "KYRA!!"(she is the other little one Gloria watched and now they are in the same class. Everyday we hear about Kyra this and Kyra that. They are too cute. She still calls him Samuelito when all the rest of the class calls him Sammy). Anyway, we explained that it needs its own special name since Kyra is taken so he thought again and said "RIBBIT!" so Ribbit it was!

Ribbit has become such a part of our daily lives that I thought he needed his own post well that and I am delirious from all my stats homework. Sammy talked to him the whole way home, showing him "ambwences and fartrucks" that passed us and he was beside himself with excitement when he brought Ribbit into our house as he literally jumped all around the house clapping and spinning in circles. He introduced Ribbit to his trains and even shared his special little red chair with Ribbit. We had to go straight to Joe and Gloria's so he could show them how he "made it Wibbit so special". Ribbit has had bedtime stories and watched Sammy's bathtime and even has been going to school with Sammy as his lovey for naptime. Tonight as I tucked them both into bed I had to kiss both of their heads. =) I think it is funny that he tells us Ribbit's "ribbit" sound box is actually his heart beating rather than him saying ribbit. Hey, I pick my battles, he can go on thinking it is his little heart beat, no prob.

Thank you Aunt Edith!!!

I also couldn't resit posting MY new love...it has been SO LONG since I've had a new pair of pretty shoes... aren't they just gorgeous???? These were a Christmas gift from mom, thanks again Mom! They have actually been kept right beside our TV so that Sam can watch the TV and I can watch my shoes since I'm not big on TV. It has brought me much joy. Yes I should read a book instead but oh, look at them!!!

I a big boy-eee now!

The above title is a phrase we are hearing on a daily basis around our house. We have had a few changes with the new year and as I have said before, all signs of my baby are diminishing faster than I can process it and he is just maturing each day. He is such a little boy these days! I know I should be happy that he is developing and growing but it is so hard to let those baby days go. He used to be the snuggliest little thing always wanting to cuddle and rock with me but now he is just too busy for such things so on the rare occasions when he does ask to "rock wifth you mommy" I cherish it! He likes to read stories to US now and he loves to take care of us. He pats our backs and rubs our arms and he really likes to brush my hair for me. Our 2 biggest changes are that we converted his crib to the toddler bed and we have begun the adventures of potty training!! So far the crib conversion has been a dream, he has yet to get out of it and wander and I am ever so thankful for that. I chalk this up to all the nights of "practice" he has had in staying on the air matress at his grandparents' houses. Who knew it would help us in the long run?

Potty training has been interesting for sure! After a few days of pullups I decided those seem to be more of a crutch as he would go in them just like his diapers and not seem to mind in the least. So, we started doing cloth training pants at home and it has made all the difference! He goes pee pee in the potty a lot now but he still doesn't recognize his own urge to go. So if I wait too long to make him sit on his potty, he goes in his pants. I know we will get there eventually so we are just being as patient as we can be and trying not to rush him. I enjoy the "sitting & waiting" time while he is on the potty, it is a chance to have some very serious and silly conversations with him while I have his full attention. He cracks me up! This morning he told me he dreamed he was feeding "ABC sandwiches" (no I don't know what those are) to a donkey, cow, monkey and an elephant in his dream but the elephant had to go to time out and it made Sammy feel very sad. As he was telling me he made himself tear up and he started crying and I had to give him a big hug and wipe his tears and remind him it was just a dream ALL WITHOUT LAUGHING!

Lastly, our mystery of the so called electricity problem I thought we were having is solved. Our lights had been mysteriously turning on and off when neither Sam nor I had touched them but lo and behold, it was just Sammy! That sneaky thing was taking our feather duster out of the coat closet and using it to reach the light switch and then apparently putting the duster right back where he got it!??? I caught him red handed the other day and he just giggled and laughed at himself, he thought he was so clever! ugh! If this is a glimpse into the teen years.. I am very very scared.

We took Sammy to the candy shop to pick out his "rewards" to encourage through potty training. He was on cloud 9!

As much as it kills me to give him candy, I gotta say it is working so much better than the stickers!!

I just loved this, him with chocolate on his face helping daddy drill.. I posted a video below where I asked him if he had eaten a cookie and he quickly lied and said no!

First night in his big boy-eee bed!! He was VERY excited!!
And I know this is prob just wrong to put pics of him in his little undies but I couldn't resist! He cracked us up in his training pants. This was the first time he wore then and he was so excited he sprinted up and down our hallway for ... 18 min!!!! Just running! He was out of breath by the end and could barely say "big boy unna-wear" anymore, bless his little heart!

Ha! He threw on his cowboy hat and did a little dance... but he was off again before I could get good pics =(
Had to rest from all the running and snuggle with Woofie, his favorite stuffed animal

This is him on the potty holding his 2 fingers up to tell you he is "TWO"!!
Very exciting Veggie Tale book to keep him busy while he waited

Hannah is a great motivator.. she read to him and then said, "Sammy will you please pee pee now so we can finally go to the park?" he simply said "ok I twy (try) Hannah" then he closed his eyes and peed, just like that!!! So I decided they BOTH should get a treat since it was great team work!

Here they are with their suckers, these are supposed to be reserved for the ever so difficult poos in the potty but apparently I'm the real sucker b/c they totally talked me into it!!

Caught in the act!!! Gotchya you sneaky little boy!!

Video of Sammy lying about eating an oreo:

Can't get it off my mind

Just like many of you I am struggling to go about my day without thinking of those suffering in Haiti. I can't even wrap my mind around it all, my heart hurts for them. I wanted to quickly repost something I read on the family life blog that was written by a missionary mom who is living in Haiti and describes the aftermath. Please take a min to read this and just as she encourages pray pray pray. Here are the links for Compassion international and World Vision that are great places to donate through. Last time I checked World Vision has 370 staff members on the ground distributing supplies and aiding in relief efforts. Compassion reports they have yet to hear from their staff and children/families they support. I also saw on the news that their are two moms that were on a mission trip working in an orphanage that have not been found either, I didn't catch their names only their husbands' pleas for help. Please keep them in mind too as you pray! It is just so sad.

from family life blog

The sun is about to come up. The aftershocks continue. Some more noticeable than others. There is no way to even begin to share the things we’ve heard and seen since 5:00 p.m. yesterday. To do so would take hours that we don’t have to give right now. Some of them feel wrong to tell. Like only God should know these personal horrible tragedies.

The few things we can confirm: yes, the four story Caribbean Market building is completely demolished. Yes, it was open. Yes, the National Palace collapsed. Yes, government buildings nearby the Palace collapsed. Yes, St. Joseph's boys home is completely collapsed. Yes, countless, countless, countless other houses, churches, hospitals, schools, and businesses have collapsed. There are buildings that suffered almost no damage, and right next door will be a pile of rubble.

Thousands of people are currently trapped. To guess at a number would be like guessing at raindrops in the ocean. Precious lives hang in the balance. When people are pulled from the rubble there is no place to take them for care because Haiti's medical care system is almost nonexistent.

I cannot imagine what the next few weeks and months will be like. I am afraid for everyone. Never in my life have I seen people stronger than Haitian people. But I am afraid for them. For us.

When the quake hit it took many seconds to even process what was happening. The house was rocking back and forth in a way that I cannot even begin to describe. It felt fake. It felt like a movie. Things were crashing all over the house. It felt like the world was ending. I do not know why my house stands and my children all lie sleeping in their beds right now. It defies logic and my babies were spared while thousands of others were not.

There are friends and co-workers who are missing. People we work with and love. There are more than I can name, but in particular we wait on one single friend who lived near the Hotel Montana—which has reportedly collapsed.

The horror has only just begun and I beg you to get on your knees—I truly mean on your knees—and pray for the people of this country. The media might forget in a few days, but people will still be trapped alive and suffering. Pray. Pray. Pray. After that—PLEASE PRAY.

THANK YOU JESUS!

I have waited so long to write this post.......... OUR PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED!! SAM ACCEPTED A FULL TIME POSITION AND STARTED HIS NEW JOB TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is working as a police officer again but this time he is with the University Police Dept instead of Gainesville Police Dept. He is excited about it and it seems to be much safer than working with GPD and regardless... IT IS A JOB!!!

I feel the need to recap here for those who may have just tuned into our journey through life...my husband Sam was a police officer with GPD. He was with them for 5 years and in that time did an amazing job and was nominated for a silver star. He was officer of the month many times, he was trained in everything from evidence technician to CIT, etc. He did plain clothes work, trained for K-9 position, and at the end he was on a special ops unit among other things that I will not mention. He provided for our family and we had great health insurance and for that we were thankful but the challenges were tough on both of us. He was in the ER about every 6 mos (for a while our Sunday School class kept track, ha ha) and I had the horrible call that all police wives dread getting. I had calls in the past that he was injured/in ER before but they were always from him assuring me he was fine. This particular call was different, it was from the hospital at 2am, all they could tell me was that he had been struck while on route to a call at high speeds, his car had gone into a brick wall and was totaled and he was severely injured and I should come immediately.It was scary and thankfully he is fine now and all is well. Needless to say the "cop's wife" thing got very old very fast. It was like I was single since he worked nights and I worked days, we never saw each other. He couldn't come to church with me for 6 months out of the year. The job was stressful for him, he saw terrible things that I still can't bear the thought of him enduring, he even lost 2 of his friends who were officers when killed. In a nutshell it was difficult on our marriage and we can safely say we have been through the fire and SURVIVED! When our marriage was struggling we decided it was best for him to find a new job. Thankfully he found a job with Chrystler and things were good for a year... then he was laid off. Ouch.

That was 7 months ago. These last 7 months have been so very hard financially. It is difficult to complain and say that things are "rough" and that being "poor" is so awful after being in third world countries and seeing what it truly means to live in poverty and suffer. Our lifestyle did change drastically though and quite honestly if it wasn't for the help we've had from my mom and Richard I seriously wonder if we would be homeless right now!! We never doubted that God would provide and thankfully he did so via family and our friends at church. We have been so very blessed to have folks care for us and help us when we needed it. Shortly after hearing the news of the layoff and wondering how on earth we would feed our child and pay our bills our amazing Sunday School class brought us meals and giftcards for groceries and gas, even some diapers!! We were amazed that EACH AND EVERY time it came down to the wire and we weren't sure how we would handle whatever situation, our need was met through others. For example, Sam needed to go on an interview and I needed to get to my office but we had NO money for gas so we prayed about asking for help and what we should do. The very next morning without mentioning this need to ANYONE a giftcard for gas was on our doorstep. At another point we had eaten just about every strange combination of food we could muster up from what we had in the pantry and freezer and were uncertain about what to do next and then viola.. a very generous giftcard to Publix showed up at our door. We got a message from the Benevolence committee at church that they wanted to help us with our utility bill for the month.. um wow?? These are just a few of the MANY stories we have of how our needs were met. At one point Sam and I were talking about our situation and questioning God,... just why hadn't he answered our prayers? Why wasn't he taking care of us and providing a job for Sam like we had asked???. then we were instantly convicted. It was as if God was knocking on our heads saying "um hello?? have all of your needs not been met??are you really that spoiled?? can you really not see me at work??" and we realized that he had been providing for us all along, by working in the hearts of all of the people who had helped us. No Sam didn't have a job but we were still eating good food, we were still in our house, and we had our needs met. He was carrying us through, just not in the way we thought or had expected.

I still wonder about God's timing with this whole unemployment thing. Sam applied for jobs each week and nothing. We would rack our brains and say "Ok God, what are we not getting? What are you trying to teach us through this that we haven't learned? Please help us learn this lesson quickly so Sam can get a job..." weird train of thought I know but just trying to be honest. I am sure one day in the future we will look back and say " ah-ha! Now it all makes sense..." but I am not there yet. I take heart in the verse "trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5 and realize that it doesn't have to make sense. We grew so much through our struggles. We had some other scary times this year, not only the lay off but also with my hospitalization on our mission trip in Guatemala.. (" when you wake up, you will have had your surgery"is NOT ideal when laying on a bed in the ER in Guatemala... um yea.. top of my life list of scary moments!!), Sammy was so sick in hostpital with H1N1 and sick ever since, and the other random things that have happened. Strange as it may seem though, I think it has been a BLESSING to share the struggles with Sam. These times of uncertainty not only drew us closer to each other and strengthened our marriage but also drew us closer to our Heavenly Father as a couple. Waiting on God to answer prayers is HARD! I am sure you can agree you have had things you pray for so often that you wonder if the prayers are making it through your roof, ha ha. I believe that it is important that we recognize the true value in those "in between times" when we are genuinely waiting on God. Maybe He wants to grow our faith in some way, maybe His silence is part of his shaping and molding us, maybe He is still working things out for us or working on someone else's heart who is involved in the particular request, maybe He simply wants us to be obedient and to continue going to Him to meet our needs, I don't really know all the reasons he may have but I do know that he is quite fond of this waiting period. I recently read this on a freind's blog as she shared about grief and God's mercy. I hope you don't mind that I quoted you Kathie!

"And so we began our time of waiting. There’s something significant and necessary about the wait between the valley of the shadow of death and the goodness and mercy that follows. The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years before they reached the Promised Land. The world waited 2000 years for the Messiah. There were three days between Christ’s death and resurrection.........But our weeks (her family) in the wilderness kept us leaning on each other and dependent on our Heavenly Father. We continued to rest in Him and He continued to carry us."

There was one thing we knew throughout all the uncertainty and that was however it all played out we would make it through, the three of us together bound by love and our faith in Him. Just as Kathie pointed out, Psalm 23 always ends with "surely goodness and mercy shall follow" and we genuinely believed this for our family and there was a peace about our situation that could not be removed regardless of how bleak the days ahead seemed. As the days crept on without the promise of a job we not only began selling A LOT of our things on ebay but began praying even more as a family and spending time in His word. Sure we had our prayer/devotion time before but there was something about the desperation of the matter that made us genuinely seek Him and His will for our family more often and consistently. All of our time together as a family resulted in us growing closer and we came up with some really fun creative things to do together that did not cost a dime!

It is in the "goodness and mercy shall follow" spirit that I genuinely ask for your prayers. I am so thankful that God is now providing for us through this new job and I am excited about what is in store for us as we get back on our feet and begin planning for the future again. But to be completely transparent, it is hard to start the whole police thing over again though. I struggled when hearing the news that Sam had landed the job at first?? How wrong is that! We pray and pray for a job and then God provides one and my first response is "um... that isn't really what I had in mind, can you please try again God?" (enter game show buzzer sound here). Seriously, I am sure if God had a giant red buzzer that He could push when I thought the wrong thought, then all of heaven would have echoed the buzzing sound in that moment. So, I am doing my absolute best to be grateful and excited for Sam and to trust that this will be a GOOD thing for us. It is so hard though. I am not too fond of police in general at this point and it is even hard for me to see him in his uniform! So, please pray that I can have a change of heart and fully embrace this new chapter and TRUST GOD to WORK ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD, just as he promises He will. I am doing my very best to believe that "His goodness and mercy will follow" with this too! Thank you!

Chocolate Ball Ephiphany??

Given the state of our financial affairs this year it seemed most appropriate to bake goodies & make items ourselves to give as Christmas gifts for our friends and families since gift buying was not an option. I wanted to share a recipe for some chocolate balls Sammy and I made together b/c not only were they yummy BUT it turned out to be a PERFECT cognitive task for a toddler. =) He had fun helping AND he practiced sorting and focusing attention/inhibition a lot so next time you have a get together to attend, why not grab your kids and have them help you whip up a batch of these. MMM MMM GOOD!

I also had a moment of insight while Sammy and I were "cooking" these treats (there really is no cooking involved but shh.. don't tell Sammy that part). Sammy is quite the helper especially when it comes to cleaning and cooking. He absolutely loves to cook and, if I can be completely honest, what I once found endearing is now getting on my nerves. It seems like every time I am in the kitchen he runs in saying "Sammy help mommy, need stool" and he goes to the pantry, gets his little stool, and pops his head up to the counter to see what he can do. Yes this is my fault completely since I have encouraged his help with our household work since before he could even crawl. I take full responsibility and should not be whining at the moment. I always thought it would be so lovely to cook with him and just pure time saving to have him help with chores. Now that he is older and more eager to help though I am realizing it is anything BUT a time saver. In fact, everything takes at least twice as long to do with his "help". For example, I could simply take the clothes out of the washer and place them in the dryer in a little under a minute I am sure but with Sammy's help it takes a good five to seven min to get each article of clothing in the dryer and have him help turn the dial. I know what you're thinking.. not such a big deal right? Well if it was just that incident, no but when you factor in the course of a day ALL the many things he "helps" with and the extra time involved.. it is no wonder I can't keep up with things around here and feel like my days have been cut short! I am rambling about this so you can understand just where I am coming from when I say we had to stop and go wash hands during our making of these chocolate balls a good 4 times I am sure because the child just could not help himself from sticking his tiny pudgy little finger in and taking a lick. I kept reminding myself that the neurocircuitry of his frontal cortex is far from mature at the ripe old age of 25 mos thus resulting in a difficulty with inhibiting what he really wants to do but c'mom.. mamma was on a schedule!

It was in this moment of frustration that God spoke patience into my heart.. or lets get honest, knocked me upside my head with His wisdom. You see long before Sammy I was guilty of this exact feeling with Hannah, I tend to focus too much on the end result of whatever project we are working on and get a teensy bit annoyed when things move in unforeseen directions and we get off track. As I started to loose my patience with Sammy eating the oreos and having to wash his hands AGAIN to keep his germs from finding their way into our treats I realized that most important things kids need to learn and accomplish to build strong character really have very little to do with the project at hand but more so to do with the aspects of character that are built while they are busy. In other words, it is when we are involved in play and projects together that I try to instill patience, mercy, kindness, the focusing of his attention, inhibitory control, etc etc. into his little heart and mind. This was one of those "ah-ha" moments that just clicked with me. Sure I guess I have kinda known this all along but when I thought about it in relation to my own life and God, it was all put in perspective. I am His child just as Sammy is mine and He forgives my mistakes and cleans up my messes and directs my way, because I am still learning. He is building my character through those teachable moments just as I try to do with Sammy. I should be as gentle and patient with Sammy as my Jesus is with me. These very qualities will help to shape Sammy's perception of Jesus in the future. I am very thankful that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to be patient with me and cares enough about my life and my attitude to teach me little lessons I need to know to be a better mommy and to ultimately love Him and my little family better.

Thank you for allowing me to ramble... Now for the recipe!

Chocolate Balls

1 pkg Oreos (double stuff with extra cream if can find)

1 8-oz pkg of Philadelphia cream cheese (I used 1/3 less fat)

1 pkg almond bark (I used chocolate but vanilla is good too) chocolate dipping squares

- Twist oreos and take them apart (good cognitive skill for toddler.. have them sort out the white from the dark into two plates)

-Scrape cream from cookies and put into large bowl (I had him use edge of spoon for his)
- Add cream cheese to cookie cream and stir
- put remainder of cookies into a ziplock bag and seal it up. Crush cookies into small pieces/powder (rolling pin works best) but use freezer bag so bag doesn't tear and get hole)- Great for little ones, they obviously love this part and helps if you ask them to find the big spots that need to be crushed

- Pour the crushed cookies into bowl with cream cheese/cookie cream mixture and mix with hands until well blended (this part is VERY messy)

- Roll into small balls and place on cookie sheet to chill in fridge for about an hour

- Melt almond bark in microwave at 20 second intervals (stir to avoid scorching)

- I just used spoon to dunk them in chocolate almond bark then spoon them back onto cookie sheet b/c took way less time but directions say to place toothpick in cookie ball and dip ball into almond bark. Place on wax paper covered cookie sheet and let stand until hardened. Enjoy!

- Store in fridge

-Makes 3 to 4 dozen

Mommy tip- Give incentive..if your child can help without eating cookies/putting finger in mix to taste then will get to eat BIG (whole) oreo cookies with milk afterwards, it worked for rest of time, wish I would have thought of at first!

Pulled 2 oreos aside for him to dunk in milk as his reward....Mmmm...mmmm....good!