my sweet boy made it all better for me......

So I wanted to put up this video of Sammy practicing his "turning". His walking has been a slow process (yay!) He made is first "turn around" over the weekend where instead of stopping and getting on all fours to crawl and face other direction he just pivoted. Of course he was ever so wobbly and fell almost every attempt, it was pretty funny to watch. Well tonight I was on the phone with Leslie when Sam told me to look at Sammy... there he was in the middle of the living room floor just walking in a circle. He must have made about 6 or 7 laps! He just would walk a few steps and turn then a few steps more and turn, it was the funniest thing to see! His circle was about 3 feet in diameter and he just kept going around. Of course by the time I grabbed the camera I missed it but it really made me stop and think...

I have been feeling rather overwhelmed with grad school, it is just so much harder with a baby. It was already difficult balancing marriage and grad school, plus maintaining other relationships.. but now with Sammy, wow. It is SUCH a blessing to be able to take him to Gloria but we can only afford to use her M-Thurs so I am home with him Friday and then the weekend. It is so wonderful to spend that extra time with him but my progress in my PhD program has really suffered. I used to work 10 to 12 hours a day plus weekends (very easy when your husband is a cop working night shift and sleeping during the day!) but now with Sammy I get NO work done on the weekends and then only about 7 hours a day M-Th. then stay up working when he goes to bed, which means I am always tired and have headaches. So.. needless to say it has been somewhat stressful.

I try to remind myself of my priorities and I am learning to stop comparing myself to others in my program who are not married with family. This semester has been so rough though, just when I get momentum and I am really cranking out my work, submissions, etc.. then something comes up with Gloria or Sammy was sick, or a few other things and what do you know, I have to miss another day. I just feel like for the last month I have been playing catch up. I am supposed to take my qualifying exams in a couple of weeks and I am no where close to ready and thus have to reschedule them, which is VERY disheartening and discouraging and I feel looks bad. It will officially put me "off track" which is scary. Plus, one of my articles we are submitting needs analyses reran..again.. ugh. Things like that just got me down and a while back I was really considering just cutting my losses and dropping out and working at a shoe store or somewhere (j/k). Thankfully, I have an amazing support system who encourage me and pray with me and got me thinking right again. I KNOW that this is God's plan for me to complete this degree so I can do the work He has planned for me so I trust that He will get me through this. I really have been praying about staying focused and not getting discouraged. I thought I was doing better but then found out today that Gloria can't keep Sammy all next week. Unfortunately she has to go in for a biopsy on Friday and can't lift things all the following week (please pray for her that doctors won't find anything and this will just be precautionary) . Obviously way more important than my drama. Things such as this went into our decision to have Sammy in a home setting rather than formal daycare, a disadvantage but in the end well worth the excellent care he receives. It was hard to hear though given the timing.. the end of the semester is so busy. I have about a hundred papers left to grade plus my submission to get out, 3 conference presentations in the spring that will need things ready so should start now, my senior thesis student, oh yea.. let's not forget my entire study I run and my dissertation. Geeez.....

I made some phone calls tonight and it doesn't look promising for finding help next week, so you see, I was feeling PRETTY discouraged this evening but prayed that either God would work it out OR He would change my perspective and renew my motivation, commitment to finishing, and reassure me that even though I am getting farther and farther behind I WILL finish and hopefully in good standing. Then.... ..Sammy started turning and doing his circles. It was exactly what I needed. He started blowing kisses a few months ago but recently he does it A LOT more frequently, it's so sweet. In the car while we are talking or praying together I hear... smooch.. and I look back and he will be grinning and pointing at me. He blows them at us while he is playing, eating, and last night when I laid him in bed, his eyes were closed but there was one little smile and a smooch then he was off to dreamland. Anyway, he finished his circles and blew me a few kisses then crawled in my lap and gave me one of his perfect hugs and my prayers were answered.. I now see things differently. All my school worries just left me and seemed so trivial. So I graduate late..big deal, I will still have the exact same degree, just a little later and the amazing reason why was in my arms! I would never dream of changing a thing, so if graduating late is the price I pay to have such sweet moments with my sweet family then so be it! I was reassured that God will see me through this and I refuse to let stress and worry steal my joy. These words come to my mind... "So, hang in there. You're time is coming soon. And if there are any delays, it's only because God doesn't have the perfect job ready for you just yet"... words from an email I received a few days ago from an old professor of mine who is so dear to me. She had sent some encouraging words of wisdom for me and the above was at the end of this particular paragraph. I am first of all so thankful for her and for the way God used her to speak to me. God is working it all out, including my future job. It all comes down to trust. I need to just trust Him. Right now I need to be the best wife, mommy, and grad student I can be. God gave me each of these roles at this time and He knows what He is doing.. I mean, after all, He is God. So as long as I keep on doing my best in each of these, not being perfect just doing my best and then trusting Him, He will work it all out. He will fill in the gaps when I can't. I am not superwoman but I don't have to be either, what a relief! So.. as for next week.. I will just give my best effort to find a way to still meet my deadlines and if I can't then so be it. I am Sammy's mommy first and then a grad student and whether I get my work competed next week or not, I WILL finish this degree! I am determined! Let's just all pray Sammy won't be in high school when it happens..... and that I won't be so senile by then that I don't even know what is going on at my own graduation. Ha ha! Had to make fun of myself a little. With that being said though, I need to fully embrace the fact that I am going to be delayed in graduating and stop worrying about it. There really isn't anything I can do that I am not already doing. I need to enjoy my last year (here's hoping) in grad school. Although stressful, grad school is soo much fun! I am surrounded by brilliant people all day and am exposed to so much amazing research in so many areas, and I get to travel so much, it really has been an amazing few years. I mean, c'mon. I went to a talk on taste buds. Now how else would I have learned I am a "Super Taster" (us Super Tasters are very rare folks, only 1 in 300) if I wasn't in grad school.

I am so thankful for Sammy's little circles tonight! That moment of pure happiness and delight with him gave me all the reassurance I needed that I can and will do this. I didn't catch his full circles on my camera but he did do a few more basic turn arounds while I had it on, still funny to see how hard he tries and yes.. that is almost all of his dinner in his hair. =)

Thanksgiving Pics...

Just a few pics from Thanksgiving and a very silly video of my little cousins rapping.. ha ha!

Blessed

Blessed is the best word to describe how I felt this Thanksgiving. Above are some pics of Sammy with his grandparents over the last few days, he was on cloud 9 as you can tell. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families and feel refreshed for this new week of work. We are so blessed as a nation and although we try to remain thankful year round, it is nice to have a day when our country as a whole gives thanks to God for all that He has given us. I feel like God is so removed from our culture/society and so this day serves as a great reminder to each of us that He is our Creator and Provider. Our experiences down in Guatemala serve to remind Sam and I that as horrible and destructive as poverty is, the poverty experienced here in our great country in no way compares to the poverty around the world so we are very thankful to live in a country that although far from perfect, nationally recognizes all that our Savior has done for us.

Our Thanksgiving celebration started on Tuesday night with the Thanksgiving dinner at our church. It was a great time of fellowship and a perfect way to get our hearts in the right place for the holiday. We sat with Bryan & Suzanne and the girls and as Sammy got restless he really enjoyed planning with Addie and "copying" her. It was so cute to see him try to mimic her every action. He LOVED the worship time and dancing and it made me realize how much I miss having him with us for that. He is always in the nursery so it was nice to get to share that time with him. We both talked on the way home about how thankful we truly are for our church family. It is funny b/c our church has a little tag line .. "where friends become family" and it really is true. It has been so great to have "Family" here in Gville while we are away from our biological families. Our church family has been there for us through everything and have laughed and rejoiced with us but also cried with us and most importantly lifts up each of our needs in prayer. On Sunday Lance shared a message with us from Romans 15 :30 -33 about joining with each other in prayer. Paul asked his brothers in Christ to join him in his struggle and pray for him. Other versions have the words "strive" or "agonize", so we are called to agonize together. I was reminded this Thanksgiving of just how thankful I am to have our friends and family to agonize with and pray with us. We would have NEVER made it through all that came about this year if it hadn't been for those prayers and the support we received. We are truly thankful for each of you.

We spent Wed and Thursday up in Jacksonville and had a good time visiting with both of our families. We hung out with mom during the day on Wed then met up with Sam's family on Wed night. Sammy got to show off his new walking skills to both sets of grandparents and it was too cute. He just ate up all of the attention. We spent Thanksgiving day at Aunt Sandra's and were so glad that Sarah & Brennan joined us.. so much fun! I found it hard to eat sitting by Sarah b/c she had me cracking up and my cheeks hurt from laughing. I will post some video of my little cousins doing their strange "McDonalds rap" that they practiced over and over. It was very funny to hear them perform it and I promised I would post it up here but I still can't say I completely understand why they would rap about McDonalds of all things.. gross... ??? Does this mean I am old?

Sam had to go back to work on Friday so Sammy went to visit his Grammy while mom and I went shopping. It was just like old times, I had so much fun! Sammy I think had more fun though. He played all afternoon with Grammy and Grandpa and he was so tired when we picked him up that he slept in the car but woke up when we got home. We tried to give him dinner but he could barely keep his head up and his eyes kept rolling back, he was just give out. He sure did sleep that night, thank goodness! Guess he needs a good dose of Grammy's house every day! We had been having sleeping issues the nights before since his back molars were coming in so I was MOST thankful for sleep! After bed time I got to hang out with Cindy and had so much fun eating more pumpkin and pecan pie (don't judge) and catching up with her. We just laid on her bed chatting, just like we used too. I love you RP!

We hope everyone reading this enjoyed their Thanksgiving time as well and took a few moments to reflect on all you are thankful for. We are so thankful for the way we have grown in our marriage this year, for our Samuelito and his health and development and the joy he brings us, for our families & and for the love and support they have shown us- they are always there for us and it is such a comfort to know that we have them, no matter what. We are also so thankful to our friends who laugh and cry with us, for the kids at Casa in Guatemala and relationships we have been able to maintain not only with them but the missionaries too, for our little Banana and her family and all that they mean to us, and for our jobs! Hey in these times, as difficult as it may be, especially for Sam, we have paychecks coming in and that is a blessing in itself. Sam said it best when he talked about just our comfort of living we enjoy.. the families in Guatemala don't know where their food will come from or when they will eat and they sleep on cold dirt floors yet we have a warm house, a pantry full of food, and health care, etc. just so much that so many in this world lack. Most importantly, we are thankful for our salvation and for the peace and hope we have from our Savior. He supplies ALL we need, not all that we want but ALL that we need and He is always there to provide comfort, guidance, direction, strength, whatever it may be. We are very very blessed.

Little Friends....

In the spirit of true procrastination ( I should be working right now) I thought I would also put a few pics from Julia's first birthday party. Julia is one of the 3 amigos... her mom Deborah was preggers with Julie & me and we were each 4 weeks apart. So, Daniel was born first, then Sammy a month later, then Julia a month after him. It has been fun having them to go through pregnancy and this first year with. Our Sunday School class is really unique b/c for 3 years now we have had pregnancies in groups of 3, so 3 per year. Anyway, Julia was just adorable, she was passed out asleep but still eating while she slept when we arrived, it was just so funny! She had a very cute Care Bear top hat to wear for her special day, loved it! Sammy has so much fun seeing and playing with his little friends. Here are some pics from the park.. little baby Luke was there too all bundled up and David was there but he was way too fast for me to catch on film!

We were "Those" customers

We had such a great weekend! Very busy but lots of fun. Sammy's little friend Julia turned 1 so we went to her birthday party. It was so cute to see him and all his little friends, after that we met up with Sam and played outside but then as it got pretty cold we decided to head on over to Toys R Us and play inside. They prob frown on people doing that but we had a blast! Sammy rode in a nice big wagon and loved it, he found a rocking horse that he was VERY unhappy about leaving, Sam pushed him in a fancy electric car, he played with Elmo, found some cool chairs to try out, and read some books. We did bring some quarters with us so we were paying customers.. we let him ride on the little coin rides at the front of the store and he had so much fun! He looked so big sitting in there and using the steering wheel! Funniest part of the evening was when we went to Publix and he got his free balloon. He clung to it the rest of the night and even took his bath with it and took it with him to Gloria's this morning. So funny!
The Guatemala meeting went super well. This was the informational meeting and Kelly who is leading the trip this year did an excellent job. She said that we have a lot of people signed up who are interested so we will just wait now and see who turns in the applications. It is so very exciting to see how God stirs the hearts of people for those kids at Casa. It really is amazing when you think back on their history and how they got started. I am just so thankful He allows us to be a part of it! Sam and I can't wait to go back, we miss those kids and think about them each day.

We Finally Flipped....

Sammy! That is now that he is 1 we turned him around from the rear facing position in his carseat to the front facing. Mom, I know you are so happy we FINALLY turned him around and he can finally see out of the dashboard. She said she was worried we would drive up to kindergarten with him facing backwards. This car ride was just too funny, what an experience! We unfortunately didn't realize what a big deal this was to him so we didn't catch those first few moments on video but we did get some of it once the car got going. He cracked us up.. he was a good combination of stunned, confused, amazed, and humored all at once. It was classic Sammy, and we laughed the entire way to the park and all the way home. For those of you who are around him regularly and know his most used word... "this", well you can only imagine how much he said it on this car ride. At the end of the second one he gets very into his monkey shoes so just ignore that, sorry. Here are the videos!

Leslie, Benji, & Jamin Came for a visit!!

"They finally came down from their mountain" as Hannah put it. We were so excited to have them come down for a visit. It sure was baby-tastic in our house! I hadn't seen 7 month old Jamin since he was 2 months old and Sam had never met him, so it was great to see our little guy and love on him as much as possible while we could actually hold him. He had grown so much and is just as cute as can be! He has these puckered out little lips like Zoolander and the most gorgeous giant blue eyes and he is so tiny! I just love how small he is, he is super early with crawling, walking, and just about everything so it was so shocking to see a tiny little thing like him pull himself up and start crusing! We had a great time.. our outings sure have changed now that we have babies in tow! Matt, Kendall, Jenn, and Kim came over for dinner one night, it was so fun to catch up with everyone. It had been just about a year since Leslie saw them and it was fun to have an almost reunion (missed you Andrea!) of our Guatemala team.
We had to spend some special time with Hannah, she has developed a relationship with them over the years and had so much fun when they took her out last year. So.. needless to say she was thrilled beyond belief to have them here and play with Jamin. She had been asking for about 6 months when they would ever come back to see us, so it was fun to surprise her. I posted some separate pics of her time with them too.
Sammy & Jamin got along really well together. Poor Jamin had to suffer through what was probably our worst time of Sammy's hair pulling and biting but thankfully he was a good sport and we are even more thankful that those days seem to be behind us for the most part... Just a side note, had no idea disciplining a 1 year old could be so challenging.. seriously dreading the two's. Leslie and I grew up living in different states but have remained super close throughout the years, seriously closer than sisters I would say, and so we are hoping that our little guys will also develop a strong friendship and will share a similar bond as they grow up together. We are so glad that they are really close in age. We had so much fun, so hard to say goodbye but I am already looking forward to my trip up to Nashville in the spring! Love you guys!

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